Monday, September 15

WORN | Blazer + Jeans + Heels

Before you all go HAM about the basic nature of this combo, gesticulate wildly at your screen or mobile device stating to all and sundry, "What the ACTUAL F**K??!"

STOP!

I am already well aware.

But I'm putting it up anyway.

Because it's my blog.

And basic is still a positive descriptive thing when it comes to outfits.

As opposed to this.
wearing: The Warehouse beanie, Le Specs eyewear, Tibi silk cami, Glassons blazer, Neuw 'Marilyn' denim, Number One Shoes 'Marlowe Dress' heels and Cotton On pouch.



Though I may have sung praises about these jeans and they have served me well, I also recognise when it's time to replace your staple black skinny and transform your old faithfuls into a DIY'd grungey, slashed knee version of it's former self. 

As far as I'm concerned you need three pairs of black skinny jeans to survive:

  1. All Day Every Day Every Way pair which nips, tucks, lifts and makes you look smooth as f**k on the reg.
  2. The DIY grungy pair for laid back days or cool kid nights and your evidence you give a s**t about the planet by not participating in throwaway fashion but evolving fashion.
  3. The Statement pair - leather panels, wax coating, sequins, lacing, moto detailing, zips, bells, whistles, removable butt flaps - whatever floats your dinghy and could possibly wear you if you weren't such a slick MF. 
I have No.3 [a great fitting wax coated pair from Federation], No.1 is now No.2 [DIY yet to be actioned] which means I am now advertising a vacancy for No.1's replacement.
Now here is where s**t gets real. I need the position filled rather quickly but I don't want to panic buy either. My preference for heavy denim with minimal stretch, low elastane mix and the right pocket placement means walking away with the right pair can take MONTHS. I actually found the best cut jeans in the little boys section of Kmart - the fabric quality is sub par but at $12, they're great for work/play in the meantime and when I'm done, my son can use them.

The journey ahead is a long and arduous one so I'm thinking I'll attack Levis first as they have always been a favourite and I know the brand like the back of my hand but if you have recommendations, leave me the 411 below!

Monday, September 8

WORN | Midriff + Leather + Trainers

The idea of baring any sort of midriff as the season changes from winter to spring is without a doubt, insanity - even if every website, every blogger, every influencer is telling you it's the done thing - insanity. It's still cold and you will look weird. Weird and goosebumpy and insane.

To flash any part of the mid section of one's body after having a kid is also insanity* or a shining example of self love and acceptance. 

I am not a shiny, self accepting or loving person.

I am a self deprecator.

I am also of questionable sanity.

So to find myself opting to expose a slither of my trunk had me thinking I was obviously mentally unstable, had finally lost the sartorial plot and crossed over to "Has No Clue" territory.

Anchored with Reebok Classics, vintage leather pants with the true 80's high waist [and accompanying Mum Bum high set back pockets] and the coat deconstructed and enveloping enough to offset the flash of skin, I felt....okay with it. 

I think that's the key discovery. 

Influencers and fadists can go for the body con and overt baring version of this trend but I'll stick with the more "accidental" peek as my nod to it.

Give it a go.


wearing: ASOS coat, Alexander Wang shirt, vintage leather trousers, Reebok Classics, Le Specs eyewear.

    
*[unless you were one of those elastic people who grew a bump the size of an easy peel mandarin and sneezed your baby out - yay for you, flash away] 


Sunday, July 13

WORN | Boyish Charm

The Docs have become my winter version of Chucks - easy to wear, waterproof and adding a boyish twist to whatever is going on from the ankles up.
However, I'd hardly call this a boyish 'twist' - more of a 'totality' when it comes to 'borrowing from the boys' or whatever the latest magazine tagline is.

ARGH!!! Too many 'apostrophes'....

I look forward to your words of encouragement for emerging from hibernation - I was roused only from lack of sufficient hoarding of twigs and berries.

How this relates to the price of fish, I dunno.

Call it as you see it - I'm rusty and have the weird border on my image that I can't get rid of to prove it.


wearing: Glassons beanie, vintage duster coat, The Boyfriends Nike t-shirt, Doc 1461's, Dollarstore pearls and my kids school socks.


Wednesday, June 25

WORN | The Truth About Relationships + Heels

High heels and I have a rather strained relationship - it takes a lot to make it work and at times it can all feel quite unbalanced. I often feel like I'm putting in all the effort to keep us on the straight and narrow - like some desperate fool who reads love in between the lines of humiliation. I keep making excuses so we can hang out and have daydreams about where we can go, what we can do and what life would be like if we were together more often. There are always moments where you forgive each others trespasses and indulge in the company of one another, remembering how good it feels when you're together....until it doesn't. And in the harsh light of morning you avoid each others gaze and with head shaking, eyes lowered, you make your awkward goodbyes.

Though I can dominate in mid heights with my eyes shut, the lure of a balls out high heel causes me to catch my breath just as much as any other girl and then begins the internal dialogue about how this will all play out. 

I fell for the leather gloved effect of these slingbacks [which have a rather emphatic nod to the original Balenciaga] and against all my knowledge of the self and of footwear I went straight for the home run.  As I stood in front of the mirror, motionless and unstable, I let the high cut front fool me into thinking they were a comfy, supportive boot and minutes later they were swinging in a ribbon handled bag, banging against my sturdy calves.

The compliments I get when wearing them distract from the pain of throbbing balls until I've been tottering around for an hour or so.

And then I require a human nearby to stabilize on and weight shift from foot to foot. 

Then I progress to the accelerate/decelerate heel manoeuvre to relieve the strain in my calves.

To be honest, I almost die every time I wear them and obviously need more practise at this fancy shit.

Or that procedure where they inject dermal filler under the ball of your foot [ewww].

My feets were so sore.

I should've just worn the Chucks.



wearing: Old sheer shirt, Lonely Lingerie bralette, Moochi trouser, Kookai heels, The Warehouse beanie and Le Specs eyewear.




Thursday, June 12

WORN | City Shorts + Cocoon Coat

Winter is here on the reg - as to be expected in the Southern Hemisphere - and it's time to store away those One Teaspoon cut offs y'all have and progress to something with thigh coverage. 

Don't be denied the glory of shorts in winter - #justaddcityshorts to your mix. With that longer hemline and awkwardly school uniform connotation, you can't go wrong. 

Well...that's clearly a lie...you can go heinously wrong but wear them with conviction and no-one will be the wiser.

Shoe choice will be a deciding factor in just how 'school-y' you appear. If you're a ladylike minimalism loving chica, opt for those pointed courts I know you all have or if you're anti-fit like me anything chunky, platformy, ugly sandal-y, doc marten-y or sneaker-y of your choice should suffice #justaddsocks

The shorts and shoes alone will not keep you warm - your top half is naked and you may be arrested for indecent exposure so throw on a turtleneck and/or chunky knit and a cocoon-esque coat.

Now you look like you have a clue. Congratulations.

FYI - what you can't see in these images is the waistline on these shorts....up in my armpits, just the way I like it. 
This look may contain goosebumps. I probably should have airbrushed the shit out of my images but this is a #reallifesituation. It is what it is.

wearing: ASOS coat and shoes, boohoo.com shorts and top, Le Specs eyewear and my son's school socks.


cDg pouch and Marc by Marc Jacobs cuff







Tuesday, June 10

WORN | Neutral Territory

This is hardly earth shattering, gravity defying stuff.

Jacket, top, pants, shoes.

#justaddpearls

The pants are a delightful tale of rediscovery - come with me.

I purchased these cropped linen twentysevennames pants a couple of years ago because they were a style I didn't own, they fit well and to be honest, they were on sale and as I am constantly lacking in the Benjamins owning an NZ label item of clothing at a bargain price is uber enticing. I only got to wear them once. We moved house. I lost them. I brooded for days followed by mentally looping abusive tirades at myself for being such a messy, disorganised dip shit who was now out of pocket. I forged ahead with life, trooper that I am. I found them the other day while cleaning that zone I call a bedroom. I was super duper excited and wore them.

True story.

Better living everyone.

On a sartorially serious note [not to be confused with an actual serious note] a relaxed fit tapered trouser which crops above the ankle is one you should have in the black pants arsenal. For those times when stuck to your arse skinnys or billowing like a galleons' sails wide legs are not required, this cut is an ego saver skimming over those vital statistics and showing off those trim ankles. Dressing up? Heels and a sheer blouse. Dressing down? Tee and loafers. Dressing me? See images.



wearing: ALL PAST SEASONS: Alexander Wang burlap trench, twentysevennames trousers, ASOS cami, Dotti fedora, Le Specs eyewear, Kathryn Wilson 'Twyford' brogues and Dollarstore pearls.



Monday, June 9

LIFE | The Week In Numbers

EXACTLY how I feel #TheCooper

There are times when screaming, "LIFE'S UNFAIR!!" doesn't change a goddamn thing.

The reality remains the same.

There is only ONE entry for this week.

Because it has consumed me and nothing else has registered.




1x pair of Acne 'Pistol' short boots cut up and put in a rubbish compactor at work.



Moral of this story? Don't leave your expensive leather boots in the staffroom where some egg might think they are rubbish someone has left behind.

Honestly.... #fuxdatshit

Wednesday, June 4

WORN | Mom Jean's Mark II

It is a fact of life that we wear items more than once so if it comes as a surprise that you would see items from the wardrobe appear on the reg on this blog, than you my friend need to pull that head of yours out of your ass.
I know of plenty a blogger, styling and posing their way through a conveyor belt delivering a magically endless supply of sartorial newness but this is the reality - some of the same shit,  just a different day. That's what you call #everydaysituations and it's normal. Which is fine. And does not mean you are failing at life. Enjoy your normalness. Enjoy watching your bank balance recover and stress abate as you no longer strive to keep up or ahead of everything and everyone all the time, fighting to attain or discover 'The It Thing' and then blast it all over social media. 

Wear, wash, repeat. 

Wear, don't wash, repeat.

Both are acceptable.

The Mom jeans are the ultimate in #normcore and step into literal translation territory with the blazer but I manage to teeter on the edge with a silk tee, beanie and Doc 1461 combo.


wearing: The Warehouse beanie, Le Specs eyewear, commoners_alike
linen blazer, CO by Cotton On jeans, Glassons edt. silk tee, Mulberry 'Bayswater' and Doc Marten 1461's.